New Year's Thingy - Let It Go

We just celebrated New Year's Eve at my house tonight.  Yes, it's January 2nd.  I'm a little behind.  But really, it's kind of an arbitrary holiday anyway.  On the actual evening of December 31st we stayed in and went to bed early because I had a race the next day, and last night I had a horrible migraine that forced me into a dark room by 7 pm.  So... Happy New Year from the Cupcake Triathlete gang!

Yes those are cups on their heads.
Cheaper and more fun to make than party hats.

I have only one real New Years Resolution this year, and Disney was nice enough to make a movie with a great theme song to signify it.  Bonus, a great song for a cold weather running, which I seem to be doing a lot of lately.  If you have not yet seen Frozen, you really should.  Go to your local mall and kidnap a random child if you don't have one of your own to justify your presence in this movie.  Don't worry - their parents won't be mad - they will thank you.

LET IT GO

Let it go, let it GOOOO, turn away and slam the door!  Let it go, let it go-ooooo, the cold never bothered me anyway!!!

Specifically, letting things go in my professional life.  Now most people, including me, don't usually blog about their work, because it's unprofessional as well as being esoteric boring crap that no one wants to read about.  No difference here.  BUT for whatever reason, I have this running list in my head of all arguments, disagreements, slights, and personal conflicts I've had in my professional career, who was involved, etc. that I have not put down yet.  I remember and rehash things endlessly.  Not so much in real life, just career life.  My company went through several rounds of layoffs, one of which I was cut in, and I still take it personally.  This is doing me absolutely no good.  Constantly worrying if today is the day I'll be fired and looking for nuance in a coworker's straightforward request to grab coffee when they said something hurtful to me two years ago is doing me NO GOOD.  Especially if I ever want to move up and along, I need to be ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like me.  When I told my Boss Scarecrow about my resolution this morning he took the obvious jab that most people aren't gonna like me.  Har har.  That's ok.  Disagreeing with people is ok.  I am actually pretty smart and good at my job, and part of that is disagreeing with people. This is gonna be a huge challenge for me, as shedding 15+ years of meticulously up-kept emotional baggage will take a lot of effort.  A big enough challenge that I felt I had to write about it here, since triathlon is my model for doing so.  I don't obsess and hold onto bad workouts, so why hold on to bad conversations?

Enough about work...

Back to triathlete stuff.  Back to "the cold never bothered me anyway".  New Years Day dawned for me with a horrific migraine.  Why can't I have a hangover like a normal person?  I attribute the migraine to detoxing on my clean eating diet - it was bound to happen between Days 3 and 5.  Too bad I had a race then.  But after some coffee (no I haven't quit caffeine yet despite my daughter's daily admonishments to do so), breakfast, and encouragement from Sheriff and friends, I did make it to the starting line.

It was cold

It was cold, and bright bright bright sunny.  It always is on migraine days.  But I found my friends, bumped into some teammates from CMMS, waited around in the nice warm gym for the start, and just hoped I'd finish under 12 minute miles and without throwing up.

Clean eating race breakfast.  Hard cooked egg,
steel cut oatmeal with walnuts and raspberries

What happened next I still have not figured out.  I ran the race with a 49:47 finish - under 10:00 per mile.  I NEVER run that fast, and certainly not for that long on a course of rolling hills.  Moreover, I didn't leave my breakfast in a snowbank to do it.  In fact, I had none of the tummy troubles that usually plague me when I run.  Afterwards I talked to Sheriff about what happened, and he said that these kind of jumps in performance are going to happen in the first couple of years of training.  Hmm.  I guess that makes sense, but I'm also wondering if clean eating helped my normally messed up GI tract from slowing me down.  Or if my migraine medicine somehow numbed the pain in my legs.  Or if someone sprinkled magic fairy dust on my sneakers. Disney music is magic.....  Time will tell I guess.

Me and my kickass tri friend Jess that I met at a swim
clinic last summer, at the starting line

So what is next?  Lots of not freaking out at work, since January is our toughest month.  Since we're in the middle of a snowstorm and the Jedi cancelled our plow service, I'm guessing some shoveling.  Several friends are doing a ten mile race in 6 weeks - I asked Sheriff if I could join and he said sure.

Ten miles.  That's like, twice as far....  Get ready....

How did you celebrate New Year's?  With a hangover, a run, or both?

The Road Ahead

Today is my last doctor's visit about my foot.  The doctor yesterday reinforced that there are no broken or bruised bones, no damage of any kind.  The cyst is so small that there isn't any treatment for it, nor should it be causing me any discomfort.  Any remaining pain should be treatable by physical therapy and strengthening.  I expect that today's doctor will tell me much the same. 

Which is all very good, but it does leave me with a lot of questions.  What the heck happening in the first place?  Did I make it all up?  Could I have avoided the last 5 weeks in crutches if I just ignored the pain? Was I really doing too much?  Jedi and Gypsy have both told me that no matter what, my body was telling me I needed rest.  Ok.  I guess I just have to let it go and think about how to move forward from this point.

Only it's not just my foot that I've rested in the last month.  This time out of the flow of regular life has really put spotlights on areas that I'm not happy with.  I feel tired - the kind of tired that still hasn't gone away even after five weeks of video games.  (Actually it turns out that being a mom and working full time from home isn't actually that restful, but I digress).  I've always struggled with how to "do it all".  Driven myself crazy trying to make holidays perfect.  Remembering everything for school.  Having organic nutritious meals every night.  Having my daughter in kindergarten has been a big adjustment for the family - one that I haven't really absorbed yet.  I have to let some things go.

Similarly, our cake business was started at a time when my employment (yes I work full time besides the bakery) was shaky and not very demanding. I was looking for a creative outlet that I felt I needed at the time.  That has changed - what was once fun is now feeling like an obligation.  I don't want to use my vacation days from my full time job to make cakes anymore.  Maybe if I got to see more deliveries and see people happy with my work I'd feel differently, but the sad reality is that most of my customer interactions leave me feeling drained, not happier.

A friend posted this on Facebook last night - the Briggs-Myers personality test - which Star Wars character are you??  Geek jokes aside - I fell into the INFJ category  (Obi-Wan Kenobi - score!).  Introvert (yes, you read that right), Intuitive, Feeling, Judging.  I took this test at a job 10 years ago and scored almost the complete opposite. Something extroverted. Not so now. Under Obi-Wan it describes "Seeks meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions".  That sounds about right - I want my life to be meaningful.  I have a lot of frustration feeling that both of my jobs just aren't.  And I want to understand the WHY of everything... what to learn from my experiences.

What I've learned from the last few weeks is that I need more quiet time.  Down time.  ALONE time (sorry kids).  For the first time in years I can truly say I want my plate emptied.  I always whine about being too busy, but until now I've felt like it was the only way.  Now I want less.  We've stopped taking orders (except one last one tomorrow we couldn't cancel) for the rest of the year and shut down parts of our business like on-site parties and our Etsy shop.  I'm practicing say no to people - something that I am usually terrible at, but am determined to learn.  After learning to say no comes the learning to not feel guilty about it.  Baby steps.

In terms of training, I've also sketched out some goals for 2014 that I think are more appropriate and meaningful (there's that word again) that my previous plan of tackling the Half Ironman distance in June.  In the immediate weeks, I started a Couch(cast!) 2 5K program to get my running back.  The first day was yesterday - it was a gorgeous fall day.  I went straight from the doctor's office to my favorite section of the local rail trail.  30 minutes - 5 walking warm-up, then alternating 30 seconds of jogging with 3 minutes of walking.  It felt very weird to have only the lower half of my right leg be tired - the rest of me wanted to GO!  Today I am so sore!  A slow journey, indeed, but one I am committed to.  I would like to do the local Turkey Trot on Thankgiving with my family, but at my daughter's pace.  With luck that will be doable, and my only "race" left in this year.

So my tentative line-up for 2014 is:

• Raleigh Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon with Rio.  April 19th.  Since Rio just became a mom, this one will be a walk/run event
• Season Opener Sprint Triathlon, Hopkinton May 11th.  Same course as Title 9 - fun to compare times.
• New England Trifest Olympic Distance Triathlon, Fairlee VT June 29th.  With my sister-in-law.  Family + my first Oly
• Tour de Cure 150 mile ride for Diabetes.  July 12th & 13th
• Cranberry Trifest Olympic Triathlon August 24th.  Second Oly of the year
• American Lung Association's 160 mile ride.  September 26th-28th

Moving my goals back to the Olympic distance is a decision I feel so good about.  Having the HIM hanging over me was causing a lot of un-needed stress.  I also really enjoyed this year's ALA ride - two long distance charity rides, especially one for diabetes which runs in our family, and the ALA ride sponsored by my work has a lot of meaning for me.  Both as an athletic challenge in my favorite sport (biking) and as fundraiser for diseases close to my heart.

My goals for the rest of the year are to scale back as much as I can.  Make slow, steady, healthy progress toward regaining my fitness through my Cast25K program and swimming.  Enjoy the holidays without making myself crazy.  Rekindle some friendships I've let falter in the bustle of everyday life.  Spend more time alone recharging my batteries.  And since it is the month to be grateful, practice gratitude for my wonderful family and all the good things I am lucky to have in my life.  Like tiny pie chefs!

Little guy made Mommy a pumpkin pie.  How awesome is that???

Aiming for Square 1

I see that you're still in your pajamas....

People talk about the stages of injury.  First there is denial.  You pretend there's not something wrong, or that it isn't that bad.  "I'm wearing a boot, but I can still do two hours of hard garden work!"  I checked that off the list early last week, before I went to the doctor.  Then bargaining. "If I stay in this boot and it doesn't hurt for three days, that means the doctor was wrong and I can run again."  I still indulge this somewhat.

My faithful nurse

Then depression.  This is where I've been firmly parked the last several days.  Parked with the cat in my lap. Cursing the rainy weather for being depressing, and the nice weather for rubbing it in that I can't work out outside among the gorgeous fall leaves in New England.  I've been staying up later and later to watch The Next Great Baker on Netflix and sleeping in to match.  No morning workouts.  My commute consists of rolling out of bed and turning on my work computer.  Which makes it easy for the clock to strike 4 in the afternoon before I realize I haven't even left my bedroom, much less showered.  It's very flattering.

The next stage is supposed to be Coping.  Or Acceptance.  That stage where you absorb the fact that your injury is real, stop shoving chocolate chips in your face like it's your job, and start making positive choices again.  I've had a few false starts with this.  I spent all of Tuesday without pain killers (not worth it).  I am really trying to use my crutches even though I can walk some with the boot before it starts to really hurt.  I refilled my supplements tray with all the vitamins I usually take while training.  (Maybe calcium is still important when regrowing bone?)

But I knew I needed to do more.  Preferably more involving less time under the furry friend and more time doing something vaguely athletic.  So that when I am cleared to go again, I'm only starting at Square 1 instead of Square 0. Because truthfully, the second metatarsal is at the very very end of one small part of my body.  An important part, but still - the rest of me could be doing something.  So I'm happy to report that I've completed my first - post boot workout!!

Working It Out - Boot Style

Very tough selfie to take

I had Jedi pump up the balance ball again and grabbed my yoga mat and weights.  Focusing on stretching, upper body, and core.  I did all upper body work on the ball, because I like the added challenge of stabilizing in the core while working on a specific muscle group.

Upper body: 

• Chest press in bridge position with shoulders on the ball
• Fly in bridge position with shoulders on the ball
• Seated bicep curls
• Overhead triceps press
• Seated row
• Pushups on the ball from kneeling (*this is a lot harder than it sounds)

Boot UP!!!!

Core:

• The 100 (pilates)
• Regular crunches
• Bicycle crunches
• Twisted crunches (knees to either side to get the obliques)
• Leg lifts (extra hard with a boot!)
• Bird-Dog (on all fours, extend opposite leg and arm)

Stretching:

• The Saw (sit straight up, legs hip width apart.  Reach and "saw off" you toe with your opposite hand)
• Hamstring stretch with a band.  Drop down to the knee and reach through to stretch the back of the leg
• Cobra



Keep those hamstrings stretchy....

• Side stretch while cross-legged.

Two sets of 15 reps each for the strength moves, and my arms and legs are shaking!!  It feels good to be "back".  Even if "back" is only a short set on my bedroom floor.  My plan is to repeat this 3x per week for as long as this boot is on.  I'll slowly add in swimming and walking on alternate days.  With luck, I'll be able to run the Turkey Trot for Thanksgiving!!

On the subject of squares, Hummingbird is taking pity on me and getting me out of the house tonight.  We are going to a local nursery (plants not babies) to make a holiday centerpiece.  Our first time working together and it's not cake!  Who'd have thought??  I am unreasonably excited at the chance of getting out of the house.  Yay!!!

What Hummingbird and I are making.  Grown-up craft time!

Product Review and Recipe - PearSports Mobile and Pear Crisp

Disclosure - I have absolutely zero affiliation with PearSports.  I did not get any swag, money, props, bribes or cool stuff of any kind for writing this review.  In fact, I'm quite sure PearSports is blissfully unaware of my existence and will continue to be so for quite some time, if not forever.  All of these opinions are 100% my own.

I'm not a bad runner.  But I am, let's say, a confused one.  I'm confused about correct form.  I'm confused about how to get better without injuring myself.  In the last six months I've needed PT for both knees, both hips, I've hurt my ankle, my back, and most recently sparked up some PF issues.  Grace, thy name is not Miranda.  I'm also quite honestly often confused as to how people who love running.... love running.  I've spent most of my life hating running.  Previous to six months ago, there were two things that would motivate me to run:

BEER

Being chased by a T-Rex

And that was it.  I mean, what the heck - people do this voluntarily??  Insane.  I'm also usually running alone because of my crazy work/schedule.  So when SwimBikeMom posted her review of PearSports Training Intelligence system, I thought hey - something that, for the low price of sub $100, will whisper sweet nothings in my ear telling me how I'm supposed to be training, encouraging me, and otherwise keeping me company on my long fall and winter of running, I got one pretty darn quick.

I love this system.  It's a heart rate monitor, special fancy earphones, and IPhone app.  My IPhone is pretty much surgically implanted, so one more gizmo to use with it was an added benefit.  The heart rate monitor is surprisingly comfy - I actually often forget I'm wearing it after a workout until I shower (which realistically isn't always immediately).  The headphones come with three different sizes of keep-it-in special comfy earpads.  I was actually so distraught at losing one of my size small earpads on a run that I went back to find it the next day in the rain.  The headphones also have a volume switch and a little button that clips to your shirt, and will tell you relevant stats (pace, mileage, heartrate) when you press it.

But the best part of all is the software itself.  First, it lets you listen to your own music while you work out - syncs right into your ITunes.  There are multiple training plans you can download (I'm doing the 10K running plan), with structured workouts that you schedule on given days of the week.  A coach (a famous one, if you are aware of such things, which I am not) will coach you all the way through each workout - giving you tips on form, reminders of what zone you are (or are supposed to be) in, etc.  The dialogue is often, but not so often that it becomes obnoxious or interferes with your tunes.

The home screen

In addition to running plans, there are spinning programs, strength training workouts, and even a guided meditation that you can download and use a la carte.  Yesterday when I couldn't get to the gym because work kept my late in the home office waiting for a critical email, I jumped on the trainer instead and logged a 50 minute spin workout.  The intensity was perfect, the coaching good, and except for the coach calling me "a monkey's uncle" when I was in the wrong zone (British? Aussie?  Just not sure...) it was pretty good.  There is also a free-form workout option that tracks your HR, distance, etc. but doesn't hold you to any particular program.  I've used this for races, and for runs that are longer than what I should be doing per the 10K plan (bad bad athlete).

38%?  I told you I was non-compliant...

At the end of your session, you can see your stats, a graph of what your heart rate was compare to what zone it should have been, and a map (if you workout was non-stationary).

A few nice-to-haves would be if it automatically synced to other apps like MapMyRide (it synces to some, just not my favorites), and if it was a little more flexible it letting you schedule and reschedule your workouts.  Maybe part of coaching is learning to stick to the plan?  I wish the HRM was a little more sensitive too - when I put my phone in my saddlebag on a long ride, it lost signal a lot.  A handlebar mount for the phone would probably fix that (more toys for my toys!!!).  Ditto for Boot Camp.  But that's pretty standard for BlueTooth...

A couple of thoughts on heart rate training, specifically for running.  Mainly, it is confusing as all anything.  I've spent all of my time to date trying to go FASTER.  You can't do that with heart rate training.  The voice in my ear wants me to actually warm up and cool down in Zone 1.  Which is just about walking for me.  Today I had a 4 mile "long" run.  (See how I had to put "long" in quotes?  Clearly I still have attitude....)  The first and last half mile the system wanted me in Zone 1 (walking fast) and the middle part in zone 2 (running not at my fastest pace, or even my almost-fastest pace).  For part of the run I was above in Zone 3, and when the electro-coach rebuked me I thought "Ha! I am BEATING heart rate training!"  Oh wait a minute....

Posting my runs to Facebook (which this system also does, even allowing you to select which subset of friends you irritate by doing so) isn't as much fun as usual with these slower paces showing.  Not that I was impressing anyone before, mind you, but still.  My run this morning ended at my kids' soccer practice - if you were to  look closely at my HR graph you would see where I started running again lest anyone not watching their little darling on the field glance over and think I couldn't hack a 4 mile run.  Because I'm crazy like that.  Clearly there is some mental re-shuffling needed to adjust here.... I'm working on it....

_____________________________________________

On the subject of pears, let's flip over and discuss how much I LOVE fall recipes.  Butternut squash, pork roast, pumpkin pie, baked apples - you name it I love it.  This is by far the best time of year for food (good thing I'm still running, huh?).  My family has been doing more than our fair share of apple picking.

Up on Jedi's shoulders

Which leads to much cooking of apples.  Much like after peach picking, I am over-run with apples.  So I make apple butter, apple sauce, and my favorite - apple crisp.  I'm the only one in the house that likes it, but that's ok because I am more than happy to eat the ENTIRE pan by myself.  Judge all you want.  I'm a triathete.  So shush.  Ha!

She's got a little bit of Evil Queen from Snow White vibe going-
I think the pirate scarf helps....

My favorite crisp recipe is actually equally good with pears (Bosc are best) or apples, so I'll share it here:

Maple Oat Pear [or Apple] Crisp

• 4-5 large pears or apples, peeled and sliced
• 1 stick of butter, melted
• 1/4 cup of maple syrup (real if you have it)
• 1 cup of brown sugar
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 cup rolled oats
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp cloves
• 1/2 tsp allspice
• 1/2 tsp ginger

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Lay the sliced fruit in a 9x9 inch baking pan.  Drizzle with about 2 tablespoons of melted butter and the syrup.

Add a little lemon juice to keep fruit from browning, if you like

In a separate bowl, mix together the remaining ingredients.  Pat onto the sliced fruit to make a more or less smooth layer.

Oven ready

Bake for about 30 minutes, until the apples are just starting to be soft.  This is personal preference, but I feel like most apple crisps are too sweet, and too overdone.  To the point of applesauce under the crust.  This recipe is much more like sliced fruit under and oatmeal cookie.  In fact, that's what my kids call it - "apple oatmeal cookie thing".  Serve with ice cream, with whipped cream, for dessert, or even for breakfast.  After all, it does have fruit and oats....  I dare you!

__________________________________________

The rain is just starting to fall here, and will continue through tomorrow's 10K race that I'll be taking on with Gypsy.  We will be soaked.  I'm not sure I'm even going to bring my IPhone and Pear system, because I don't want them to get ruined.  So think warm, cozy, fall thoughts for me and enjoy!

Happy Fall :)

Fall Training Plan - Let's Get it Together

This has been a good summary of me lately.  With the triathlon season over, my daughter starting kindergarten, work ramping up, car issues - you name it, it seems like it is happening.  I had some vague thoughts about what to do with myself in this, the "off season", but alternating between manic bouts of race registration and hard core training and collapsing into exhausted puddles for days at a time isn't really a training plan.  There was comfort in my triathlon training.  Swim twice, bike twice, run 3 times per week.  I didn't always MAKE it, but at least there was a goal for each week, and the Title 9 sprint triathlon as the light at the end of the tunnel (whether it was the end or a train is debatable - depends on the day).

Unfortunately, this is ALSO what I feel like.  My kids activities become mine, and suddenly I have work, being a grown-up (cooking dishes laundry cleaning WHAT?) in addition to all of their dance lessons, swim lessons, soccer practices to coach, etc.  There are trick words to read every night, bags must be filled every night with items starting with a certain letter (I'm sure that his teacher giggles when she assigns "X" and "Q"), and many many PTO meetings, fundraisers, and announcements to ignore.  I mean, participate in and file.  Ahem.

My training schedule was my crutch against the anxiety and the crazy for most of the summer.  Now.. no crutch.  No specific goals in the immediate future.  Drifting.  I'm like a giant version of a newborn that needs to be swaddled in a specific blanket, bounced a certain way, and put down with all the light turned off.  If it's not a routine, I don't sleep.

So, it's time to get serious and make a schedule and goals for the fall.  My goals for the fall are:

• Strength train 2x per week
• Work on building an injury-free base for running
• Spend more time with friends and having fun
• Play outside as much as possible (I love fall)
• Calm the heck down.  (this goal is the over-arching goal of my life, not just the fall)

To that end, here's the new training schedule for the Cupcake Triathlete:

Sunday - Crosstrain (bike), races for fun, hiking, or rest

Monday - Rest.  Mondays are good rest days

Tuesday - Early morning 5:45 Boot Camp workout at the gym

Wednesday - Run (lunch or morning - outside if possible)

Thursday - Zumba/Boot Camp in the evenings with friends

Friday - meet the family at little guy's swim lesson and either swim or run

Saturday - run in between the 2 kids soccer practices, preferably with a buddy

This plan has plenty of built in time for friends, for the family, maximizes outside time while still using my wicked expensive gym membership at least twice a week.  And only one day a week of getting up a dark o'clock.  Now, about the running: 

I do solemnly swear to lose the chip on my shoulder about "short" runs and stick to my 10K training plan.

Let me say that again....

I do solemnly swear to lose the chip on my shoulder about "short" runs and stick to my 10K training plan.

I started following the Pearsports 10K training plan a couple of weeks ago (I swear I'll do that product review any day now).  Meaning that I did the first workout, a 25 minute run in Zone 2 with a warm-up and cool-down of 5 minutes in Zone 1, and decided that I was light years ahead of that (I've raced 10ks and am a triathlete for crying out loud!) and discarded it, running four milers instead.  Well.  You know how that turned out.  

Resistance training

So today I grabbed my Pear system and my best training buddy and did the 10k "1.2" workout.  25 short minutes, just like before.  I ran exactly 1.5 miles.  Pushing a stroller with a 4 year old, but still.  It hardly felt worth getting sweaty for.  BUT this kind of plan is what will get me to a solid base, so lose the attitude, sister!

I will be as chill as my little guy.....

Runs will not be longer than 6 miles.  Workouts will not be longer than an hour.  I will have plenty of time for self torture come the winter and half-marathon and half-ironman training.  Fun, aerobic base, maintaining the fitness and weight loss I earned this summer, and sanity are the goals here.

Besides fall is gorgeous, and you can stop to take nice photos during Zone 2 runs