Bible Smashing

No, this post is not about dissing the Catholic church or similar.  Yesterday I got the results of the MRI on my foot.  Delivered by the nurse at my general practitioner's office, who had zero other pertinent information (Like what now?  How do we fix it?  When can I walk again? etc.  eye roll).  Equally helpful was my podiatrist's office, who flat out refused to talk to me, look at me or my charts, whatsoever until my appointment tomorrow.  Thanks, medical science.

I know I know.  The suspense is killing you.  It just about near killed me too, because after five weeks in a cast and on crutches, I have absolutely no broken, stressed, or otherwise harmed bones anywhere.  In other words, there was never any need for me to be in a walking boot or crutches in the first place.  You've got to be kidding me.  I've wasted the last 5 weeks, my life, my work, my physical fitness, and all the strength in my lower leg for NOTHING.  The first thing I did after I hung up was march down to my car (I was in the office) and throw my crutches and boot in the trunk and slam the door.  Then stalked back into the building looking really pissed.  The receptionist was very confused, bless her heart.

See that tiny black dot near the arrow?  It shouldn't be there.

Ok - it's not exactly nothing.  What I have is a small ganglion cyst sitting right next to one of the key nerve junctures in the foot.  What it is is a small pouch of fluid that forms associated with a joint, usually in the wrist but sometimes in the foot as well.  The cyst often forms as a result of repetitive trauma, which makes a lot of sense, for a runner like myself.  This is also where the "rachet" for the laces of my bike shoes is placed, so a lot of pressure on that area when I ride.  Like the 100 miles I did the weekend I got hurt.   Mine is right where the first metatarsal meets the bones of the foot - right near under that big tangle of nerves in the picture

Nerves of the foot

Until recently, the home and official remedy was to hit the cyst as hard as you possibly can with the heaviest book you own (usually the bible).  Really.  I am not making this up.  The idea is that by whacking the stuffing out of the cyst, you pop it, your body absorbs the goo, and in about 50% of the time it doesn't come back.  Great odds, eh?  Heathen that I am, I don't own a bible, so Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is gonna have to do the trick.  Any volunteers?  No?  Jedi isn't signing up, so some of my coworkers said they'd do it.  Gotta love a supportive work environment.....

Many people find comfort in religion.....

 Alternatives to crushing my foot with a large dictionary and causing further damage is to have the cyst drained or removed surgically. Or wait and see if it will go away on its own.  Now this is the part I don't know about yet and have to talk to the doc about.  The cyst is possibly too small to drain, and also in an area with a lot of nerves - in other words where it might be ill advised to have someone go after with a knife.  I have two appointments in the next two days to meet with two different podiatrists to figure all this out.  Because although I am thoroughly enjoying not being booted and walking around like a (somewhat) normal person, it still hurts like h*ll.  Knowing what it is isn't changing that.

Group stretch!!!

So in the last 2 days I've been stretching.  Practicing walking with both feet.  Frankly, how to taper off the pain meds I've been on (if I can) without going into crazy withdrawal.  That last one is something I am ashamed of, but feel like I have to mention in this blog for the sake of being honest.  Trying to integrate back into the flow of my regular life.  That last one is a problem, because I've realized my regular life is INSANE.  Work is batty.  I had three cake orders come out of the woodwork for this weekend.  The kids are not down with my new-found freedom after a month of being chained to them.  I'm trying to figure out how to exercise again.  Christmas presents.  Social calendars.  What needs to be remembered in backpacks for school.  More work.  More kids.  How did I ever do this?  And how am I going to do it again?  Totally overwhelmed.  While I'm very grateful nothing is broken, I've gotten whiplash from going from zero back into life in the space of one phone call.  God help me.  Oh right - he already wrote that nice thick Bible.....

Yeah... That's Not Gonna Work For Me

  

Beware of medical residents. This is what I have learned.  I met with my podiatrist today for the first time to try to figure out what is going on south of my right ankle.  I mean really, it's been 5 weeks.  Three of them mostly on crutches.  Four of them without me driving.  Well, not quite without me driving.  This Wednesday I got stir crazy enough I drove myself to work out of pure spite.  "Take that foot!"  What I discovered from that excursion was that

a) my job is still not very exciting,
b) the extreme jealousy of having to cover for a coworker that is out of office to buy a puppy, and
c) that you must NOT ogle runners longingly while driving or you will nearly drift over the center line.  But I digress....

So I met with my podiatrist and his resident today.  Naturally, I had typed up a 500 word document detailing, in chronological order, everything that has happened in the foot zone over the last few weeks, my medical history, training, etc.  I am a list maker (my rehearsal dinner involved a spreadsheet handed out to the entire bridal party itemized down to 15 minute increments for the whole day), but I also wanted to be sure that they had all the info and I had all my questions ready to go, as we might only get about 5-10 minutes together (thank you modern medicine).  After going over my x-rays, doing a physical exam, reading my paper, he flipped over to my questions.

1.  How long to heal?
2.  How do I get back into running?

He laughed and said that he was surprised #2 wasn't first.  Ha ha.  I guess they get a lot of Type A well organized hyper-anxious injured triathletes in their office.  But then he said the "S" word.  No, not the four letter one I taught my kids when they were two years old..... SURGERY.  My immediate reaction was to say "Nope.  That doesn't work we're not doing that".  Vigorous head shaking.  His concern was there is zippidy-doo-dah on my x-rays to indicate a stress fracture, and that I must therefore have a Lisfranc injury - or rupture of the ligament over where the second metatarsal meets the heel bones.  At this point I think he sensed my hostility and retreated to go over options with his boss.

Enter the boss doctor, who also looked over my x-rays and pointed out the vast nothingness indicating a fracture.  He poked my foot in all the places that the resident had drawn on it with a pen (yes really) to show where it hurt.  He told me that due to my excellent narrative (thank you 500 words!) he had enough evidence to request an MRI and ask the insurance company to pay for it.  Whoot.  He also said that his gut feeling is that I likely have a really bad bone bruise or a stress reaction in that area.  (No surgery.  Much better).  But that we need the MRI to know for sure.  Every question I asked after that was answered with "We won't know until after the MRI".  So.

He DID clear me to swim and to drive until then, however.  Yay!  So my plan is to party like it is spring break and I'm a 22 year old with daddy's credit card until its time for the MRI.  And by that, I mean drive to work, swim, take my kids trick or treating and try to catch up with friends some in case I'm stuck in my house for months after surgery.

I started right away with a swim workout at the YMCA this afternoon while little guy had his lesson.  I was psyched when the woman in the lane next to me popped up and turned into my friend and physical therapist, Laura.  Yay!  Laura's always given me great advice, like "You'll be ok" (before first triathlon), "Eat something NOW" (after first triathlon) and "You know your goggles are upside down" (today).  She even gave me a swim workout and some pointers on my stroke.  I was so empowered I even strapped on one of those silly belts and tried pool running for a while.  Then I came home and bought myself a waterproof MP3 player because I have the attention span of a squirrel on meth when it comes to water workouts.  Thinking books on tape might help keep me in the pool long enough for actual progress......

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Other strangeness going on this week has been a small flurry of press attention from my earlier post "We All Hate Mommy".  A friend of mine works at a local newspaper and asked if she could reprint it.  I said sure, and two days later my son and I were on the front page of the paper.  I had friends texting me the picture, and a random woman I work with stopped me at the copier to tell me she read my article.  Pause.  And now she knows what I think about it.  Another awkward pause.  And that she agreed.  Oh thank goodness.  Anyway the whole experience was a little odd.  I usually assume that no one reads what I write, and that certainly I am safe from those in my real life (or at least professional life doing so).  Having a voice is actually pretty darn cool.  Plus my son was super excited to be on the front page.  Daddy even got him an ice cream treat to celebrate.

That's us right under his right hand. 

The other noteworthy happening this week is this awesome kiddo being the youngest runner ever to complete a half marathon.  That, and every running blog/site/commentor everywhere putting up her picture and inviting the population at large to judge her parents for letting her do so.  Forcing her to.  Stunting her growth by doing so.  And so on and so forth.  I'd just like to say knock it off!!!  For one, no one knows their kid better than her parents, so don't suggest you know this little girl better.  Everyone's experience is different.  Furthermore, do your homework first - her parents are triathletes, she grew up running, they cleared it with her doctor first, and they ran ever mile of the race with her asking her all along if she wanted a break or to stop.  Sounds pretty responsible to me.  So congratulations to Keelan Glass and her parents for doing something pretty darn cool.

My daughter did her first 5k when she was four.  It was our local turkey trot.  She just hopped out of her stroller and ran the whole thing laughing and yelling "Gobble Gobble!" the whole way.  She's my best running buddy.  Sometimes she runs a mile, sometimes two, sometimes about 5 seconds and then starts whining.  So we walk.  Or stop to look at bugs.  I have no idea where she got her athleticism (not from me or her dad for sure) but I'm grateful for it - she has something she loves. Something that literally helps her little high energy body sleep at night.  She thinks Keelan is the bee's knees and wants to run like that when she is six.  (Being five and a half, that's an era away).  Run on, bad-ass kiddos....

My daughter's first 5K - she was four

Krazy Kitty Kardio

It has come to my attention that I am becoming a crazy cat woman.  In my defense, sitting with one of my cats in my lap has been my primary occupation lately.  One kitty especially is super affectionate and follows me everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  This is the cat that has hopped in the shower with me.  I found her dumped out in a parking lot when she was a kitten and I was 7 months pregnant with my first.  She's not left my side since.

I will follow you.... wherever you may go....

However, some friends have voiced concern for my mental health after the zillionth photo posting.  So - I will try to knock that off.  The for the record, my cats rock and are better than most people I've ever met.  So.  Crazy cat woman speak?  Uh oh.....

I've been on crutches a week and a half, coming up on three weeks since injury.  Yesterday morning I was hemming and hawing on seeing a podiatrist.  I called my doctor back with some follow-up questions (like how long is this bloody thing gonna take to start to feel better???) and they of course refused to talk to me.  They referred me to a podiatrist, who also was not down with answering simple questions over the phone.  I'd need to come in for an office visit.  Hurrah the US medical system.  So after much consideration I sucked it up and made the appointment.  I needn't have worried - the first available appointment isn't until November. The irony of a 3 week delay while simultaneously telling me that I really do need to be seen was lost on the nurse that made the appointment.  Anyway...

I went back to furiously googling for answers, and found an article encouragingly called "Healing a Metatarsal Stress Fracture Quickly".  Yes!  That! Enough of this patient waiting - I want results!  And despite Boss Scarecrow's assurances that I can work from home for as long I need, I want to get back to my life.

The article highlighted a three-pronged approach, the goal of which to increase blood flow to the area.  Which kind of makes sense to me - between the CAM boot and compression socks, I've had moments wondering if my foot actually hurts or is just squeezed to the point of losing feeling.  Heat instead of ice, regular exercise, and using a TENs unit for 30 minutes 2-3 times a day.  I actually own a TENs unit (long story).  It stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation.  It's a little gismo with 2-4 electrodes that you attach to your skin and it runs an electrical current through the affected area.  It feels kind of like miniature hamsters running around under your skin.  The idea is that it does the same thing as the super expensive Bone Stimulators that professional athletes get to use, but with a DIY twist.  So I dug that puppy up and zapped myself three times yesterday.

TENS unit

I also begged the Jedi to haul our old folding reclining bike up from the basement.  Since Becoming A Triathlete I've scorned this contraption, and all reclining stationary bikes, as being too easy.  Not relevant to training.  I imagine perfectly made up coeds pedaling slowly on them while reading Elle magazine and scanning the gym for cute guys to ask out.  BUT out with the attitude, because I did actually use this machine to lose 20 lbs 2 years back, AND it has the benefit of being almost complete non-weight bearing on my foot.

My new friend

With all resolve to start slowly, I did only 25 minutes yesterday, with the boot on.  It feels a little weird.  After weeks strapped in a walking cast, any muscle movement in my foot feels, well, weird (must buy a thesaurus).  But not painful.  Working out felt so good.  My head felt clearer that it has in weeks.  I remembered what it was to sweat!

Pedaling with da boot

This morning after my obligatory coffee, I dressed straight into workout gear.  I haven't even opened that drawer of my dresser lately - it makes me sad.  Not today!  Hello Sports Bras!!  I even strapped on my Pear HRM and did another 30 minutes.  So happy I added 20 minutes of strength work (upper body) on the ball with dumbbells.  Hitting the pool tomorrow during my little guy's swim lesson.

Blurry pic of very happy me - taken by my 4 year old

Now the challenge is to not overdo.  I woke this morning for the first time with no pain in my foot.  Even pressing on the bone doesn't hurt.  No pain meds so far today (another concern - how long can I take these things before I turn into one of the suburban wife addicts that they write drama series about?).  It feels like progress.  Now, like everything else, I just need to keep it going and not mess it up....

I'm sure the kitties will help keep me on track.

Rest mom.  Rest.

Wishing on Milkweed & Acorn Wreath Tutorial

I am not in the mood to write.  When I'm feeling down (and I don't want to whine), even extrovert me tends to get quiet, hide in the closet, and wait to feel better.  Kind of a "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" mentality.  BUT a training buddy / friend saw one of the very many crafts I've been posting to Facebook, and asked me to write a tutorial for it in this blog.  It is neither triathlon nor baking related, but.... here it goes anyway.  I'll cut right to the tutorial chase and save the philosophic ramblings for later on in this post.

Acorn Wreath

For this craft, you will need a glue gun with a LOT of glue, some heavy duty wire, a foam wreath frame from a craft store (mine was about 9 inches around with a 2 inch diameter - green foam.  from the florist section), some silk leaves (or real if you prefer) and a giant bag of acorns.

I've been trying to get out of the house at least once a day.  Like many breeds of large, hyperactive dog, I apparently need to be walked and exercised in order to be happy.  Mommy is a Dalmatian.  Fresh air fixes almost anything (temporarily).  Yesterday's outing was to a local farm for a gorgeous hayride, to get mini-pumpkins for pumpkin spiders, and to the bike path so that the little biker dude could get in some miles that he's been desperately campaigning for.  

On the hayride

 The spot we parked at the bike trail was under some giant oaks trees.  The little girl still has no interest in biking, and since Mommy can't run with her, the plan was to crutch over to the nearest bench and sit keeping me company while Daddy chased the little man on foot.  Seeing the hundreds of acorns on the ground, I grabbed a bag from the car and we set to work instead.  If any of the many people that passed us thought it was odd to see a five year old and a full grown woman on crutches sitting in the dirt collecting acorns, they didn't say so.  Once the boys got back, more collecting ensued.  We got hundreds.

Before you can craft with acorns, it's important to dry them, so that any critters living in there don't come out to play once you've work them into crafts.  So - to dry spread in a single layer on a towel for an hour or so.  Then place in sheet pans, single layered, in a 175 degree oven for at least an hour and a half.  Leave the oven door open a crack so that moisture can escape, and stir them every so often so they don't burn.

Got enough?

Once they have cooled, they are ready to use.  Today is our Farmer's Market day, so the Jedi is furiously baking for the morning and then gone the rest of the day.  Girl child goes to half day kindergarten, but the little guy is around all day, and since Mommy is present, is completely underfoot and incapable of entertaining himself.  So I set us up in the playroom craft table for the morning.

Kid wreath version - Elmers and foam wreath

We both started with wreathes.  For him, an orange "wreath" of foam stuff and regular glue, and for me the florist green foam wreath and the hot glue gun.  Putting together the wreath could not be more simple.  Glue the acorns to the wreath.  That's it.  I started out in the inside - applying a small section of glue along the inner edge and sticking on a few acorns (with no caps) at a time.  Working outward until the entire wreath was covered. Offset the acorns in a "honeycomb" pattern so that as much of the foam is covered as possible.  Be generous with the glue - I went through several sticks.

Gluing on the acorns

 As always, kids and hot glue guns don't mix well, so make sure you keep an eye on both when they are adjacent.  Once the wreath is covering in acorns, I hot glued on some silk fall leaves and berries that were part of a garland I had lying around.  You could use fall ribbon, burlap, or any other kind of accent you like.  Wrap the heavy duty wire around the top and twist it into a loop to hang.  That's it - easy!!

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So yes, I've been doing a lot of crafting.  Still can't drive, and I'm off work this week.  I tend to measure each day by what I've accomplished, so it's hard to not feel like a total waste of space when I'm not working, training, walking, driving... etc.  Crafting gives me some quality time with the kids (which I never have enough of), and the feeling of having something tangible at the end of the day to say, "Look what I did!!"  I like to hang my stuff right up there next to the kiddos'.  It also keeps the kids entertained at least momentarily so that the Jedi can see to the running of the house, the business, and every other useful thing around here, in addition to his laid up wife.  Awesome.   The feasibility of "resting" while entertaining a four and five year old is a whole other line of discussion.... one that I think if I get into here would take lots of space.

Building a teepee in the yard

I mentioned I'm feeling pretty down.  This afternoon I was outside with the kids doing a photo scavenger hunt. (A brilliant idea - you give the kids cameras and send them racing all over the yard to take pictures of clues and then come back to show Mommy).  One of the clues was a milkweed plant.  I showed the kids how to open them up and release the fluff on the wind.  How to make a wish.  My daughter asked me to make a wish - my first one was, of course, "I wish my foot would get better".  But then I thought about all that I do have in my life, and what kind of example I wanted to set.  When she gave me my next wish, I wished that someone else out there who needed a wish more than I do - that their wish would come true. (bad grammar - did you follow?) We tossed up the rest of the pod's wishes for sick children to get better, for people who lost their jobs to find new ones, for hungry people to get food, and many more.   Because really, those are the people that need the milkweed wishes.  Not me with all of my blessing and not my kids who have so much.  Lessons in gratitude.

Other craftiness the Cupcake Triathlon team has done lately:

Painting acorns

• Painting acorns.  Have your kid hold them by their tops and paint the bottoms.  You can go back and draw faces.

Mini-pumpkin spiders

• Pumpkin monsters & spiders.  Use pipe cleaners, craft foam, and google eyes to make mini pumpkins and gourds into spiders and other creepy crawlies.

• Trick-or-treat bags.  Let your kid decorate his own cloth trick-or-treat bag with glow in the dark puffy paint.
• Yet more Halloween cake pop designs.  Dip round cake balls in orange and add a green sunflower "stem" for pumpkins.  Form cake balls into cone shapes and triple dip in yellow, orange, and white or chocolate, orange, and white to make candy corn pops.  Make the mummies by dipping in white chocolate then drizzling more white chocolate all over while spinning the pop to make bandages.  Press in mini chocolate chip eyes.

Oh mummy....

Gypsy asked me the other day when we delivered her celebration cake for finishing her first half marathon if I was out for the 70.3 next year.  I told her that honestly, quitting it had never occurred to me based on this injury.  Upon further contemplation, it very well may be that I never run all 13.1 miles.  My body seems to hate running - I cannot stop getting injured.  This season I went from a non-runner, to a 12 minute miler, to a 9:30 minute miler in 6 months.  I was so close to being able to pace Gypsy and Hummingbird (who crushed her own 10K race yesterday) that I could taste it.  Letting go of that dream, at least for this season, is hard. It is hard to know that I'll be starting so far back when I am cleared to run again.  I want to work out - swimming or cycling, but just crutching around has me exhausted most days.  I'm still taking some hefty pain meds - I went to bed at 8 last night and didn't sleep until midnight because of the pain in my foot.  It is hard not knowing what to do.  But I have faith that I will see the other side of this particular injury.  In the meantime, I hope I will have the presence of mind and fortitude to be grateful, patient, and keep wishing on milkweed.

Congratulations Gypsy!

BOOTED!!!

It's official - I've been booted.  Three days post bike ride and my foot is hurting worse than ever.  While some more rational folks might see the doctor, we're still pretty sure it's a metatarsal stress fracture, which can't be picked up on an x-ray.  Treatment is a nice spiffy chic walking cast like this one, so we skipped the middle man and ordered me one on Amazon.  I'll wear for a couple of weeks and see how it is feeling.  Yes, to those of you yelling, I will see the doctor if this does not address the problem.  But we are still waiting on the ER bills from my daughter's stitches last week and we just bought a car for heaven's sake, so for now... shush.

My little guy just came in my room where I'm working and poked my new cast with his finger.

Him: "You have a new cast"

Me: "Yeah"

Him: "And you can't run..."

Me: "Yeah"

Him: "And you can't bike..."

Me: "That's right"

Him: "And you can't do any races..."

Me: "True"

Him: "And that makes you very sad...."

Me (thinking) "Well NOW yeah!!"

So it is true.  I am limited to clunkily walking around like Frankenstein (hmm, Halloween costume?).  But it might be a measure of how tired I am that I'm ok with it.  It's been a long season.  Taking a few weeks off might be good for the body.  I am bummed to miss Zumba, and sad to not have the coping mechanism of a run available for stressful days, but... what are you going to do, right?  Besides, this will give me time to focus on other things that have fallen by the wayside.  Like work, my cake business, my garden, my children, Halloween costumes, canning applesauce, all the new fall seasons of TV starting up, and video games!!!

In my pain-med induced haze I've been playing an awful lot of HayDay - a very simple, even moronic, generic version of Farmville.  The repetitive tinkly music funny faces of the animals is strangely soothing. That and my only responsibilities being to ensure there is enough chicken feed and making pies. If only real life was like this.  Maybe instead of being a triathlete I'll achieve Level 100 on this game.  This can be a new life commitment, right??

My new calling.....

Maybe not.  But it's good for now.  Rest assured I still have plenty of posts to write, included product reviews of PocketFuel and Swirlgear.  So stay tuned!