Old-Fashioned Mashed Potatoes - Race Recap

Today was the Old-Fashioned Ten Miler, put on by the Wampanoag Road Runners in Foxboro.  Although that area got a significant amount of snow last night, I was confident with my new screw shoes and dressed perfectly for the weather.  After a great breakfast, I drove the hour and a half down to Foxboro in plenty of time for the start of the race.  Although the run was tough, I had my Garmin to keep my pace on track, my carefully crafted playlist on my iPhone to keep me company, and I finished well before 2 hours, which was my goal.  I broke the run up into 3 segments like my coach had suggested, thinking of a different friend who needed positive energy for each three mile segment.  It was a beautiful day and I'm so happy with how the race went overall, especially because this was such a critical training run/race going toward the New Bedford Half Marathon next month.

Psych!!!  None of that happened.

Ok that is not true.  Breakfast was good, and it was a beautiful day.  If you happened to be curled up sipping coffee with a book by the fireside, or <<cough cough>> at a picturesque country wine tasting like some coaches I could mention.  But in MY world, the day started with an email that the race start was pushed off from 11 am to 1 pm.  As if 11 wasn't late enough to be a nutritional challenge.  To say nothing of my ability to stay calm and cool for seven hours before the start of a race.

Beautiful snowy day, from the comfort of my house

So I test ran my screw shoes around my house - good stuff.  Headed south towards the race a little early, as the kiddos decided my extra time would be best spent going to Toys'R'Us for them.  Pretty sure none of the Sochi athletes have to worry about selecting the right Lego Creator set prior to their events.....  I arrived at the race hall about an hour before the start.  Had my lunch, and promptly realized my headphones were missing.  I sent a few frantic texts to my friend Spark who was meeting me at the race to see if she had extra.  No dice.  I went into the hall to register.

Shortly after getting my number the race organizer came over the loudspeaker announcing that the ten mile route was now a five mile route.  There was supposed to be a choice of a 5K route (that was actually shorter) and a ten mile.  Those of us who had been planning to run the 10 now could run the 5K route twice, as the town hadn't salted any of the roads that made up the ten mile course.

Spark and I at the start.
See how we still look more or less happy?

At this point my phone started melting from all the expletives I typed into it, as I vented my wrath to Spark (who hadn't arrived yet), my husband, Maid Marion who just happened to text me at the wrong time, Legos (also was a texting bystander), and most importantly my coach.  I needed to run 10 miles.  I had planned and prepared to run ten miles.  Sheriff and I decided that I would just run the loop three times. Close to 8-9 miles would be ok.  There were several other runners there who were using this race as a key training run for New Bedfored, and I was not the only one with the idea.  Spark arrived and we jogged to warm up while I further sputtered and swore while she laughed at me about my "stubbornness issues".

We lined up with the 700 or so other runners on one of the many snowy side streets that comprised the course.  At some point a gun must have went off, because people started shuffling - slipping and sliding and moving only slightly faster than walking in the three plus inches of somewhat packed snow.  My plan had been to stay with Spark, who volunteered to be my entertainment in lieu of headphones for the first loop.  I'd then continue on to the second, then keep going past the official end of the race to complete a third loop.

The thing was, the roads were terrible.  My screw shoes worked great, but even so... running through snow is HARD.  In my experience, races are usually pretty quiet.  Everyone just puts on their headphones and runs.  Today, there was a constant stream of chatter.  More experienced runners consoled themselves and partners that running five miles in these conditions was the equivalent of running ten on pavement (an opinion that my mind is having trouble accepting, but my body completely agrees with).  Many people were commenting to anyone nearby just how much this run was terrible (not the actual phrases used), that they wish they were doing anything but.  It was like running on sand.  No - running on mashed potatoes.  Around mile 2.5, when the front runners looped us, one guy joked that he was going to jump on the back bumper of the pace car.  Spark and I lost each other in the sheer concentration of making sure our feet stayed under us.  My Garmin did not work.  It never works during races.  I really  must read the manual again.  And that playlist I spent hours making last night?  Not loaded on my phone, I discovered when I decided the crowd had thinned enough to just play it for myself sans headphones.  Damn technology.

The high point of the race came around mile 3 when, during a rare patch of pavement, some guys I was running with noticed my shoes.  Did I do that?  Yes.  How?  1/2 inch hex head sheet metal screws.  That's awesome - I'd have to do that for my girlfriend.. cool that you can.  Your girlfriend sounds lame..... (ok no that's not what I said).  But it was short lived.

By the end of the first loop I'd lost any illusions that I could make three.  I forced myself to run by the end of the 5K despite the screaming in my hamstring, foot, and lower back, and pressed on through another round of the 32 minutes I'd just endured.  I finished what turned out to be a 5.3 mile run in just under 56 minutes - an overall pace of 10:35.

Done.  I got a big medal with a beer opener.

Spark, wonderful girl that she is, had stayed outside in the cold to snap a picture and catch me at the end.  As we walked back towards the hall, tears of frustration and pain pricked the backs of my eyes as I hypocritically consoled her about her time (also not what she had hoped for).  The conditions were just not meant for PRs.  We'd get it at the next race.  It's ok.  It's really ok.....

It is ok.  It is also disappointing, frustrating, and painful.  I texted my coach and told him what happened (he was very understanding), my husband (he offered to buy me wine), and Maid Marion with a report on the screw shoes, who also was very supportive.  Checked in with the parents - I'm alive.  More virtual hugs.  I had some fantastic chicken soup, got myself the largest latte possible at DD's, and then zoned out so badly on the highway I ended up in Rhode Island.  Whoops.  I try hard to avoid post-race stupidity, but it always shows up in one form or another....  I laughed out loud in the car when the highway signs welcomed me back into my own state.  Welcome to Massachusetts, dumbass!!!

Now it's the evening and I'm clean and warm.  My foot is taped.  My hamstring and back are still killing me.  My kids said I still did great.  My little girl told me, "I'd be proud of you no matter what". (More crying)  The lesson of today has to be that things don't always go the way you plan, but that you can still make the best of it and [try to] be proud of yourself.  Part of mental toughness is staying strong in non-optimal conditions, but is also accepting non-optimal results.  I've got to let it go.  After all, there's another long run coming up on my schedule in six days....

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - last page

The Longest Month of the Year

Our now deceased snowman

This morning my son cried for over half an hour.  Why?  Because the snowman he built two weeks ago melted.  We got three inches of snow overnight, and since he went out to play this morning, he just noticed.  While this length of temper tantrum is a bit on the dramatic side for a four year old, I held him while he cried anyway.  I tried to comfort him by telling him that we are getting another foot of snow tonight and he can certainly make a new and bigger one tomorrow.  That just made him cry harder.  "I'm just so sad!!!!" He wailed.

Boy, do I know how you feel.

February is by the far the worst month of the entire year.  It is dark.  It is cold.  The hustle and bustle of Christmas is past, and the smaller but equally fun burst of joy that is my daughter's birthday is also gone.  Spring is still months away.  New Years Resolutions have mostly petered out.  By coincidence and the nature of my job, work is busiest in January, so that by the time February rolls around, I'm usually exhausted on all fronts.

And sick.  On New Years Day, flush from finishing the Sterling Freezer Five Miler in record time, signing up for longer distance races seemed like a brilliant idea.  Four weeks later and I am seriously questioning the decision.  I have not been able to bring my A game in the last month.  Looking back over my Training Peaks log, the first week I was sick.  The next I was well, but my foot injury was back.  The next week my daughter was sick and I was up all night with her multiple nights in a row.  Sleep deficit forced me to miss a few workouts.  Then there was Sunday...

Sunday I was supposed to meet a friend in the next town over for my long run - a 6 mile recovery run.  It had been in the 50s all day, and I was looking forward to running with someone I hadn't connected with in a long time in the unseasonably warm weather.  I got dressed for cool weather running, and the Jedi told me to take off a layer.  I'd roast.  Ok fine.  I drove to the next town (a process that takes 20 minutes out in the boonies where I live).  Almost to my destination, my friend texted that her daughter was ill and she had to stay home.  Bummer.  And it had started raining.  Double bummer.  Also, she had the route.  Frick.  I wasn't as familiar with the roads, but I did pick a route.  I checked the weather forecast, which predicted no rain, and decided it would stop soon.

I was incorrect.  The rain did not stop.  I was not dressed warmly or visibly for solo road running.  My garmin quit on me.  So did my lungs, which sucked wind at every step.  Over seven miles later (one extra walking bc I got lost) I made it back to my car.  I was soaked to the skin, chilled, and really, really cranky.   My splits were abysmal.  I was amazed that I came in around 11:00 minute miles with all the stopping I did to check where I was, mess with my phone, make a stop in the woods (no judgment please), etc.  It was also my first run using Strava - the exact opposite of a run I wanted to share with the world.  Ugh.

Definitely feeling this

After a very conciliatory Jedi drew me a warm bath and got me some hot coffee,  I was ready to just shake it off as a bad run.  Got ready for the Superbowl.  Gave kids dinner.  Chores done.  Three minutes before kickoff, the last of the snacks was just coming out of the oven, when I almost dropped the bowl I was carrying and ran to the bathroom.  Hello stomach flu.  I spent the first quarter on the floor of the bathroom, crawled downstairs for the second quarter, and went to bed after halftime.  At least as Superbowls go, this was one to miss.

Two days later and I'm still not right.  I'm reading and re-reading my conversation with Sheriff that a few missed workouts isn't the end of the world.  I didn't really want to run a half marathon anyway....

Because that's the thing about February.  It wears at you.  For those of us that battle depression on a regular basis, this is the battleground of the year.  It is easy - oh so easy - to feel hopeless and powerless when you are sick, you never see the sun, it is freezing and grey and wet out.  I feel like I am a bad employee for missing work, a bad athlete for missing workouts.  I'm never going to finish those long running races.  I've nearly abandoned my clean eating except for alcohol and gluten.  I've lost 5 lbs and don't want to lose any more please.  Almost ready to give in altogether as a failed experiment, except that we switched my son onto a GF diet and I can't abandon him.  Jedi and I really need a date night.  Kids - actually I'm good on the kids.  Been a good mommy lately.  Many other bloggers are writing inspirational posts about braving the "Polar Vortex" and "How to Not Hate the Treadmill".  I want to write one on "How to Make Yourself Get Out of Bed".

Five things I hate about February

• Girl scout cookies.  Being forced to sell them, being guilted into buying them, and then feeling guilty for eating them.
• Valentine's Day.  Maintaining romance and good feelings is hard enough this time of year - it's like they put this holiday smack in the middle of February just to make me have to work harder at the cake business and reinforce the fact that the Jedi and I don't get enough quality time together.  
• Taxes.  Not the rebate part - that is fun but comes later.  The assembling all the documents and putting them together.  Not straightforward with a job and small business both. 
• The Christmas Hangover.  Not eggnog.  Credit cards & kid's expectations.  Both need to come down again
• The Cold & Dark.  It is hard to get up in the morning.  I even have a treadmill in my basement now, but going from a warm bed to a 40 degree basement to run at 5 am is just hard.  I know - I should suck it up.  I know this.  Knowing that even in March it will at least be light out, if not warm, makes the next month better.

VDay cake pops.  We make hundreds of these....

Five Ways to Survive February

• Exercise.  Ha!  No I'm not being ironic.  Get your heart rate up for 45 minutes or more on a regular basis.  A wellness coach once told me that exercise in durations of 45 minutes or more has the strongest impact on depression and mood.  While I don't have the study to prove this, in my experience it is correct.  Shorter workouts don't give the endorphin "peace" after the way longer ones do.
• Light therapy.  My mom got my one of those sun-lamps to put on my desk.  15 minutes in the morning is helpful, if you can stand keeping your face within 6 inches of it.  It mimics natural sunlight and helps reset your system.  I really need to use this more often.
• Get outside on days that you can.  Any way you can - walking, running, snowshoeing, skiing, sledding, building snowmen - let what sun there is shine on your face as much as possible.  Failing that, go to a local botanical garden or other indoor space with plants.  Breathe.  Repeat.

  

  My son demonstrates how to enjoy the cold outdoors

• Drop the bottle.  One of the "bonuses" (sarcastic air quotes) of my month of Clean Eating is that now when I do have a glass of wine, it makes me feel worse.  Alcohol is a depressant.  It might take the edge off for an hour or so, but overall it will bring you down.  It also disrupts your sleep.  If you're not sleeping, you can't feel well.  If you feel like you need some sort of chemical help, please PLEASE talk to your doctor.  There are a wealth of treatments (not all drugs!) that can help depression and seasonal affective disorder.  There is absolutely no shame or stigma in availing yourself of help if you need it.  
• Plan something to look forward to.  We often try to plan a short weekend trip or other thing to look forward to.  Although we're not staying anywhere overnight, we are planning our first skiing day with Jedi's sister's four boys at the end of the month.  We also are going to celebrate my adorable niece's birthday in early March.  (Near as I can tell, the birth of my niece was the only good thing to happen in February ever.  Oh yeah, and the birth of my brother.  I guess that one kinda goes with the other.....)

I hope everyone is surviving this winter.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to battle the dark of the year.  For now, I'm back to bed...

My daughter gave mommy her stuffed frog to sleep with