Friday, February 7, 2014

The Anti-Snow Day

Some beach.... some where.....

If only.  

Disclaimer - despite this post and my last one about SAD, I am not depressed nor do I need any kind of intervention.  Though if you feel like coming over to babysit and/or bring chocolate or wine I will not turn you away, per usual.

Last night, after a full day of sledding, school, playing with friends, battling over the injustice of having to eat a healthy dinner, my kids were a little crazy.  I, too, was a little crazy after fighting my own personal wars at work, doing errands, and attempting to make 1+1=3 in our budget.  It was a bit nutty.  This is how you tell your child has started to lose it:

This is the chalk wall in their playroom.  My daughter did this solo.

  • Number of snow days so far this winter?
  • Number of times mom has yelled at her to eat her dinner?
  • Number of times her little brother has pushed her?
  • Number of days she's been imprisoned by her parents?
  • Number of days until adult autonomy?

Who knows?  But, in the words of the Jedi, "it was a little RedRum-ish".  A little scary.  My daughter is so much like me that I'm pretty sure the Jedi didn't get to add any genetic material into her creation.  She might have well sprung from my forehead fully formed, Athena-style.  In full battle dress.  In fact, Jedi just sent me a text that she is sick, because she asked to take a nap saying "there's so many things in my head and I can't think of all of them at the same time".  Poor little Mini-Me.  I so wish I hadn't passed on my neuroses to her.  But I did, and she is as the universe I made her.  (For anyone feeling badly for the Jedi, don't worry.  My son is a copy of him.  It's fair).

Anyway, this incident and a recent article I read about a mom's Rock Bottom Mom Moment Caught On Camera has me thinking about parenthood, life, and the truths that we choose to share.  I think everyone has the perfectly understandable tendency to share our good moments more than our bad ones.  Our triumphs.  Those rare moments when our lives look more like Pinterest than Nanny 911.  Heck, the world is judgmental enough as it is, even when we share those moments, without inviting further criticism!

Wednesday yet another winter storm hit most of the Northeast.  My town won the snow award for Massachusetts (again).  I woke up later than I should have, did my speed workout on the treadmill, shoveled part of our 200 ft driveway for my strength workout, and then watched the kids while simultaneously trying to work remotely.  Why do one thing well when you can do multiple things badly???  Ask me how my "Hands-Free" resolution is going.  No wait... don't.  

While I was at my computer, picture after picture of my friends playing in the snow with their children, making cookies with their families, and putting healthy yummy perfect snow-day dinners in the crock pot paraded past my news feed.  Bastards.  It would seem that I alone in my whole town was climbing the walls, failing at multitasking, and utterly failing to live the Disney movie equivalent of a perfect winter New England day where everyone stays in their (perfect matching L.L.Bean) pajamas, eating whole-wheat chocolate chip cookies all day.  But the thing is.....

I think they were lying.

Keep those beautiful snapshots coming my friends, because I truly do rejoice in the moments of joy I have with my family and wish the same for everyone else.  But let's go ahead and share all the moments in between as well though, so that we're not measuring ourselves to unrealistic standards.  The moments when we are NOT at our best.  When we put on a Disney movie (not even an educational one) in order to get some work done. Or not even work - to sit in our closets and just breath for a few minutes.  Share the recipes that were utter failures (we've have a rash of these lately.  Gluten Free cooking is not going well).  Share the crummy workouts instead of yet one more inspirational "poster" about getting it done no matter what.  Because sometimes, you know what?  You just don't have it in you.  And that is ok.

I've had a week that is mediocre at best.  Stomach flu for the first 2 days.  Two treadmill runs (one speed one hills) that were less than stellar.  Last night, after the tally mark incident, I had a pretty non-ideal mommy moment.  I was about a glass and a half of wine in (not taking my own advice), and was pretty zoned out.  Sitting on the bathroom toilet, watching my son hold his breath and dunk under in the bathtub for the zillionth time.  Coming up coughing, water streaming from his nose, becoming more and more breathless.  I should probably stop him.  Meanwhile his sister was streaking through the upstairs portion of the house, completely naked except for one sock and shrieking at the top of her lungs.  Sip of wine.  It's possible I don't have a good handle on this situation. (Jedi had buried himself in the kitchen baking tonight's birthday cake order, for which I could not at all blame him).  

Why am I telling you this?  Because I want you to judge me and tell me I'm a bad parent.  (I'm sure someone will).  NO - I'm sharing this because I believe that we all have these moments.  And that maybe, if YOU have had a moment like this lately, or a crummy run, or other mini-"failure", that you'll forgive yourself for it once you are done laughing at me.  Then maybe you'll tell a friend about your moment, so that they will do the same.  Then maybe after this movement has traveled across the country and all women love and support each other, when Pinterest has been successfully been sued for the therapy bills of a generation, and all Pottery Barn furniture has been hacked up and burned in a massive bonfire of mutual acceptance, there will be peace on earth!  

Whew!  I got a little carried away there....

We can hope my superhero cape will be firmly attached around my shoulders once I get home tonight, as I am making a space-themed birthday cake for a very dear friend's baby son.  I will share the pictures.  I also decided that Pluto should stay a planet.  I'm a rebel.  Then I have Total Immersion class and a 9 mile run tomorrow morning before the baby's party.  Possibly with at least one sick child, and one with lice, as the little man's school just wrote that there's an outbreak.  Post that deliciousness folks!!!

I absolutely dare you to share a Bad Mommy, Bad Athlete, or other Bad moment in the comments.  I dare you.

I couldn't work this into the main theme of this post,
but it's too awesome not to share.
Maid Marion side-planking on top of two mini-vans.
I have no idea why.  Maybe she's stir crazy too.


Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes said...

Bad mommy award right here.....snow storm, oldest wants to go outside to play in the snow but we don't have any snow boots/clothes because we don't get much snow in DC. Anyway, I tell him no because , well I was being lazy and didn't feel like going outside...he begs and pleads and I say no and my reason gives me the "worst mommy of the year award"... Me: No honey, we can't go outside, you don't have any boots and your feet will be freezing and they will get frostbite and turn black and the Dr will have to cut them off." Oops.....Now, I am a nurse, and I see the worst of the worst so this isn't that shocking to me, but to a 5 year old? Ummmm, yea. The lower lip frowned, tears welled up and he started sobbing. I heard myself say it after it already came out and I just hung my head in shame....I'll never live that one husband was standing right behind my son when I said it and he just got this horrified look on his face and mouthed "what the hell are you doing?" *sigh*

Miranda Greenhalgh said...

Wahoo Sue I am laughing so hard right now. Well done!! Similar story - I came home from work one day and my husband said, "Miranda, you really need to watch your mouth around the kids. Today [daughter] asked me if "bitchy" was a word". My reply - "Honey I'm her mom. She's gonna hear that word a lot!!!"

Thanks for sharing!!!

Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes said...

Oh yea, I've slipped with the cursing before too :)

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