Thursday, July 3, 2014

In Front of the Mirror - Goals

It a whole new month.  July 1st (ok now it's the 3rd - close enough).  I finished my first Oly and now the summer looms before me, ripe with the promise of.... what?  What is it about achieving milestones that throws into relief just how many things you haven't achieved yet??  And why is it that, no matter what I do in terms of athletics, dress, hairstyles, etc. whenever I look in the mirror I see a thirtysomething Mom looking back?  I'm not lamenting my status parentus, but it still a little odd to have this little critters that look up to me as the center of all wisdom, and to have my twenties (and the body that went with them) wander away while I was building a family and a career.  And a house.  And pets.  And... lots of other stuff.

Ok - focus.  Back to goals.  I could work on my hill climbing on the bike.  I got a cadence monitor that should come in the mail today.  I could start interval training and such things that my more serious triathlete friends seem to do to get faster.  The big hill in the bike course at NE Trifest pretty well killed my speed.  So that could be good.  But my next race's bike course is pancake flat, so... hmm.  

These jars look great by Pinterest standards,
but contain <400 calories, which isn't enough for lunch.
Learned the hard way.
Ok, so how about I go back to trying to rid self of a few pounds.  My BMI is smack dab in the midst of the healthy range, but the endurance athlete lifestyle isn't actually very good for ridding oneself of a mom-like shape.  High protein?  Low carb is out - every time I mess with my diet I make myself dizzy and sick. Courtney Cynthia and I decided to take on nutrition as next week's #TriTalkTuesday topic, so I'll be soliciting advise from readers then.  So far I made it exactly one day before getting so hypoglycemic I crashed on the couch and watched 3 episode of Glee in a row while eating strawberries and Nutella.  Not the best plan, surely....

I really should do my PT more often... maybe some weight training.  Yes!  Weights are good.  Now when exactly can I fit that in??

I really want a Garmin Vivofit... mostly because Rio and her husband got them at the Raleigh expo back in April and I didn't.  I like toys, and I like data.  Staring at data is a substitute for actually exercising, right??

I'd have arms like hers... just by wearing the thing....
boobs look good too...

Maybe I should be focusing more on the kids.  After all, I've been blowing them off a lot to train.  Plus working.  Just because my job sustains and feeds the entire family and they are well taken care of by their father doesn't mean that I shouldn't feel bad at all times for neglecting them. (Sarcasm folks.  But still sadly true)  After all, my son is routinely so incredibly clinging that I have nightmares about him actually trying to crawl back into the womb.  That must mean something....

Photo: 4th of July Star Styled Hair
http://bit.ly/1jnR0Mu
Not my photo, not my daughter.
Having a kid this well dressed and
coiffed would be a challenge
Our town's fireworks were rescheduled due to the storm.  I'm actually relieved by this.  I feel I need a few more days to gather the needed strength to get them all dressed up and sit in a burning hot fields for hours waiting for the fireworks, and then carrying 100 lbs of tired children through the mob back to the car.  In an effort to be smart, I got the kids each a pair of 4th of July pajamas yesterday to wear to the fireworks, mistakenly thinking this would be good because they would be comfortable and bed-ready.  In reality, this made them cry super big wailing sobs.  He liked hers, she likes his.  I can't even get my daughter to stop flossing with pieces of her hair (really), much less into a cute little getup with ribbons.  Enough of this parenting stuff - it's a losing battle.

What about my career?  Well there's a whole other area.  The last few months have been pretty career heavy, in terms of next steps (sad to say I still can't share the whole story), taking on some extra work, and my semester starting.  I should be a more focused worker...

Or this blog!!!  Heck I'm not even self-hosted.  I've not had a giveaway in ages and I'm pretty sure the only people that read it are my close friends.  Who are gonna stop after this long babbling post.  I should really work on becoming a "real" blogger....

My point of all of this is that I'm driving myself crazy.  I'm feeling jealous of my training partners who don't have children.  Or who don't have jobs.  Or both(?)  Even though I know that I'm oversimplifying their lives and choices by envying them.  I'm feeling like any goal I do try for is gonna get railroaded within its infancy by work, by illness (mine or my family's), by my complete lack of ability to get up before 6:30 am.



Girls Gone Sporty posted a fabulous article about "When Fitspiration Goes Wrong".  I loved it.  Go read it now.  In the world of Pinterest and social media, it is so easy to feel less than "good enough" if you aren't making your own organic salads from greens you grew yourself, entertaining your preschoolers with hand-woven felted wool playthings that also teach match skills, and having a washboard stomach while doing it all.  Take all that and add in triathlon and it's a serious amount of pressure.  Self-pressure, but still pressure.

what did you do today

Today I worked, kept my kids alive, went for a short run (or didn't - rest days are good too!), and breathed some air.  Maybe my goal for July will be more of "What did YOU do today?" being this:


Or maybe I'll buy myself a Vivofit.  Does anyone have one??

**Update**  I just had to try.  One goal done!  hehehehe... she is fun.  

My kid.  My work.  Cutie!

3 comments:

Darilyn Weiss said...

I completely understand your post! I laughed at the part about Pinterest because I feel the same way - who has time to make their child's dinner look like a safari by shaping all the foods into animals and trees, while they are wearing hand sewn bibs and organic wool clothes? No one, that's who. I can re-pin tons of things, but that doesn't mean I'll ever do them myself.

I see nothing wrong with your summer goal of just hanging out with your kids, enjoying the weather, and getting in training when you feel like it. I know that isn't the best attitude, but if you push it, you'll get burned out and it won't be fun anymore. And if it's not fun, at least during 90% of it, then your focus should turn elsewhere because then you are just wasting your time doing something you aren't enjoying instead of finding something you do enjoy.

P.S. - your blog is on my blogroll...it's one of my favs!

Miranda Greenhalgh said...

Oh wow Darilyn - that makes my day! I truly feel like I'm mostly talking to myself. Thanks so much.

I'm off to cut some organic carrots into stars and stripes using $20 cookie cutters from William Sonoma for my children's lunches...

or maybe I'm just off to shower. Or change out of the clothes I've been wearing for 48 hours.... I'm not telling..... ;)

Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes said...

The hair looks great! And you are so right, there is so much pressure to be that "pinterest" mom ( I just posted about that)...shoot, I stay home all week and STILL can't be a "pinterest" mom. We are our own worst critics and sometimes just doing the best you can on a specific day is good enough. Your children love you and they are well cared for..it's hard to find time in the day. You are doing a great job!!

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