New Year's Thingy - Let It Go

We just celebrated New Year's Eve at my house tonight.  Yes, it's January 2nd.  I'm a little behind.  But really, it's kind of an arbitrary holiday anyway.  On the actual evening of December 31st we stayed in and went to bed early because I had a race the next day, and last night I had a horrible migraine that forced me into a dark room by 7 pm.  So... Happy New Year from the Cupcake Triathlete gang!

Yes those are cups on their heads.
Cheaper and more fun to make than party hats.

I have only one real New Years Resolution this year, and Disney was nice enough to make a movie with a great theme song to signify it.  Bonus, a great song for a cold weather running, which I seem to be doing a lot of lately.  If you have not yet seen Frozen, you really should.  Go to your local mall and kidnap a random child if you don't have one of your own to justify your presence in this movie.  Don't worry - their parents won't be mad - they will thank you.

LET IT GO

Let it go, let it GOOOO, turn away and slam the door!  Let it go, let it go-ooooo, the cold never bothered me anyway!!!

Specifically, letting things go in my professional life.  Now most people, including me, don't usually blog about their work, because it's unprofessional as well as being esoteric boring crap that no one wants to read about.  No difference here.  BUT for whatever reason, I have this running list in my head of all arguments, disagreements, slights, and personal conflicts I've had in my professional career, who was involved, etc. that I have not put down yet.  I remember and rehash things endlessly.  Not so much in real life, just career life.  My company went through several rounds of layoffs, one of which I was cut in, and I still take it personally.  This is doing me absolutely no good.  Constantly worrying if today is the day I'll be fired and looking for nuance in a coworker's straightforward request to grab coffee when they said something hurtful to me two years ago is doing me NO GOOD.  Especially if I ever want to move up and along, I need to be ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like me.  When I told my Boss Scarecrow about my resolution this morning he took the obvious jab that most people aren't gonna like me.  Har har.  That's ok.  Disagreeing with people is ok.  I am actually pretty smart and good at my job, and part of that is disagreeing with people. This is gonna be a huge challenge for me, as shedding 15+ years of meticulously up-kept emotional baggage will take a lot of effort.  A big enough challenge that I felt I had to write about it here, since triathlon is my model for doing so.  I don't obsess and hold onto bad workouts, so why hold on to bad conversations?

Enough about work...

Back to triathlete stuff.  Back to "the cold never bothered me anyway".  New Years Day dawned for me with a horrific migraine.  Why can't I have a hangover like a normal person?  I attribute the migraine to detoxing on my clean eating diet - it was bound to happen between Days 3 and 5.  Too bad I had a race then.  But after some coffee (no I haven't quit caffeine yet despite my daughter's daily admonishments to do so), breakfast, and encouragement from Sheriff and friends, I did make it to the starting line.

It was cold

It was cold, and bright bright bright sunny.  It always is on migraine days.  But I found my friends, bumped into some teammates from CMMS, waited around in the nice warm gym for the start, and just hoped I'd finish under 12 minute miles and without throwing up.

Clean eating race breakfast.  Hard cooked egg,
steel cut oatmeal with walnuts and raspberries

What happened next I still have not figured out.  I ran the race with a 49:47 finish - under 10:00 per mile.  I NEVER run that fast, and certainly not for that long on a course of rolling hills.  Moreover, I didn't leave my breakfast in a snowbank to do it.  In fact, I had none of the tummy troubles that usually plague me when I run.  Afterwards I talked to Sheriff about what happened, and he said that these kind of jumps in performance are going to happen in the first couple of years of training.  Hmm.  I guess that makes sense, but I'm also wondering if clean eating helped my normally messed up GI tract from slowing me down.  Or if my migraine medicine somehow numbed the pain in my legs.  Or if someone sprinkled magic fairy dust on my sneakers. Disney music is magic.....  Time will tell I guess.

Me and my kickass tri friend Jess that I met at a swim
clinic last summer, at the starting line

So what is next?  Lots of not freaking out at work, since January is our toughest month.  Since we're in the middle of a snowstorm and the Jedi cancelled our plow service, I'm guessing some shoveling.  Several friends are doing a ten mile race in 6 weeks - I asked Sheriff if I could join and he said sure.

Ten miles.  That's like, twice as far....  Get ready....

How did you celebrate New Year's?  With a hangover, a run, or both?

No More Cupcakes....

Having done my blogger's due diligence by recapping this past year, now it's time to look forward to 2014.  I've already got my big races scheduled, so not a lot of new available there.  But as I look forward to my gym being flooded by "resolutioners" who will take up all the treadmills for the month of January, I did decide to start my own little challenge.

No more cupcakes.

I know - now I'm just a random triathlete.  A very mediocre one at that.  Boo.  Jokes aside, I decided to try this Clean Eating thing that everyone is raving about.  It seems like the last couple of years everyone is eschewing gluten, grains, sugar, alcohol, caffeine (in other words, everything fun) and reaping huge benefits in terms of energy, health, and overall bad-assedness.  So I jumped on the "What is Cool Now" bandwagon, in the hopes to redeem myself for never being cool a day in my life so far.  

Cookie Monster so has the right idea....

In all seriousness, I am giving up gluten, dairy, refined sugar, alcohol, and maaaaaaybe caffeine for the next 30 days, starting yesterday.  (The caffeine wasn't on the list until my five-year-old piped up and told me that caffeine was bad for me too so I should try to cut that out as well.  Who teaches her this stuff?  My goodness I am creating monsters.....)  My personal goals are to see if this eating plan will positively impact the number of migraines I get, and if it will help with the constant stomach woes that I have while training hard (aka running 3-4 times per week).

I ran this idea by my tri-friend Kate, who will now known as "Spark", due to her insistence that Spark energy drink is better than coffee.  Yeah right.  She did a 10 day eating clean challenge in December and loved it.  She must have, because even when her little guy was in the hospital she kept it up.  I would have been living out of the vending machine and coffee carts like all hospital parents.  Go Spark!

So Spark agreed to be my buddy, then suggested that we start a Facebook group to help support each other and a few other friends we knew who were prone to this sort of behavior.  Six hours later we had 59 people signed up.  48 hours later we have over 70 people.  As Jedi said to me, casually and with one raised eyebrow, "Well, now you really have to do this...".  Yikes.

Day 1 was yesterday - the day after the last of my family Christmas celebrations.  Our New Year's tradition is to actually NOT drink and instead rock New Year's Day with something outdoors and preferable athletic that will represent how we want the coming year to be.  In the past we've gone hiking, snowshoeing, skiing, and when the kids were really small maybe to a museum or other fun activity.  This year I'll be racing the Sterling Freezer 5 Miler, a local road race with a reputation for being exceptionally hilly.  Bring it.

Anyway, I started up the challenge with some cooking, and some shopping.  I made hard boiled eggs, as well as crustless quiches (really just veggies and sausage baked with eggs in muffin tins) for breakfast.  Packed a bag of walnuts and raisins for the gym, and stuffed the kiddos into their coats and into the car.  We headed out for a mile plus swim workout for me, kid gym for them, then swimming for all.  Next stop was the local Wegmans for lunch and to stock up on supplies.

Lunch Day 1 - salad with veg and chicken plus coconut water.

Naturally the kids ate all my post-workout walnuts and raisins.  I really must pack better.  But I dutifully ate my salad while they had pizza and mac'n'cheese and I tried to not push them onto the floor and steal their lunches.  Then we hit the produce department for sweet potatoes, spaghetti squash, kale and the bulk aisle for all the ingredients for home-made granola.

Eating clean grocery munchkins

Last night I made the granola and we had homemade ham and split pea soup for dinner.  Kids and Jedi got rolls and cheese to go with it.  I did not.

This morning after a pre-run snack of granola, a few miles with Gypsy, and some of the quiches for breakfast, I baked a whole spaghetti squash, some yams, and a giant batch of quinoa.  Then divided it all into packets in the freezer and fridge so I have things to grab.  

Lunch Day 2 - tricolor quinoa, tuna and tomatoes over greens,
with lemon juice, olive oil and pepper

Dinner tonight after an afternoon of skating with the kiddos (which takes a surprising amount of energy) was spaghetti squash with tomato sauce and sausage.  Side note: you may be wondering how I justify ham and sausage as clean eating.  I don't.  But we seem to have killed an entire pig judging by the Christmas leftovers in my fridge, I'm just too poor to waste them.  I'll be salmon-ing up soon.

The leftovers of this did me in - my dad's retirement cake

I have to admit that so far, I hate this.  I have a rampant, angry sweet tooth that is totally pissed off by this process.  Which is why I caved this evening and had a piece of cake.  In about 10 seconds, with my hands... while no one was watching.  Oh yeah.  

My daughter firmly scolded me for this when I confessed at story-time, which frankly I felt was a little hypocritical coming from a munchkin who ate half a gingerbread house for dessert while I had to watch not an hour previous.  Even now I'm having a tough time summoning up any guilt, because it was really good.  Though how much calmer I feel after wolfing down cake does point to a rather troubling sugar addiction.  Hmm....

It is also well touted that the first few days/week of any clean eating program are the worst.  That it is normal to have no energy, headaches, and be a rampant bitch that hates the world at first.  Check, check, aaaaand check.  I can only hope that it does get better soon and that the urges to devour baked goods and candy subside.  Or at the very least, that my family eat the last of the damn Christmas goodies and stop waving them in my face. Failing that, Spark, Hummingbird and most of the Clean in 2014 group are starting New Year's Day, so at least I'll have company soon.

You know what misery loves, so if you'd like to come along on this challenge join us!  I'll be checking in soon.  

How Did I Get Here? 2013 in Review

This was me in March of this past year.  Beer in hand, having just jogged/walked the St. Patrick's Day 5K in 35+ minutes.  On a dead flat course.  Followed up immediately by chugging two beers and having the brilliant idea to buy my kids a plastic toy trombone thing that deeply annoys us (and certainly the neighbors) no end.

Now admittedly, that race was a blast because I was there with two awesome friends, BUT I've come a long way since.  I've read innumerable blog posts from other athletes summing up their years, so in the interest of not making mine just one more, I'll try to keep it brief.  By the numbers:

• 6 5K races.  That includes 2 color/glow runs and a Warrior Dash
• 2 10K races
• 3 sprint triathlons
• 150+ miles of charity bike rides
• 3 rides up and down Mt. Wachusett
• 4-5 open water swims across a substantial lake and back, during none of which did I drown
• 764 miles logged total, according to my various compulsive tracking programs.  That's combined sneakers, wheels, and swim.
• 12 pounds lost
• 5 weeks in a walking boot on crutches
• 1 coach obtained

I love numbers just as much as the next endurance athlete, but the most important moments of 2013 are those that can't be quantified.

Like becoming a triathlete on the same day as my kids.

And teaching them to love being active as much as I do.

Like getting spectacularly messy with friends.

And meeting some of the most amazing women I know.

Also defying the number are how many fears I've conquered, and how much I've learned - not just about the sport and being active, but about myself.

• I am no longer afraid of falling off of the back of treadmills (though maybe I should be).
• I know the difference between a spin bike and a regular exercise bike.
• I learned how to swim (kinda....)
• I learned how to put on a wetsuit.  Even more impressive, how to get one off.
• I learned how to change my own bike tire.

• I learned how to shower at work and wear spandex in front of whatever coworkers happen to see me running near the building without being embarrassed.
• I learned how to sleep in workout clothes in order to get up and out the door just that much faster for a 5:45 a.m. strength class.
• I learned I push myself too hard.  In all things.

• I learned just how important it is to have Date Night.

• I learned that many people will not understand, and not be supportive.  You lose friends.  But you also gain friends, and those that stick with you and cheer you on are worth a dozen of the ones who drift away.
• I learned that a really good workout is better therapy than a really good beer.  And that when you can't have one all of a sudden, the beer doesn't really help either.
• I learned am learning moderation.  And humility.  And hopefully to let things go and let someone else drive for a while (that's the coaching part.  Eventually I imagine he'll stop letting me schedule my own workouts).
• I even learned that I'm not actually afraid of things I thought I was.  Like rock climbing...

next up... dinosaurs (maybe)

So yeah, 2013 was a heck of a year.  Add in our oldest starting school, our first year doing wedding cakes, and the day to day business of sick kids, ER visits, work, promotions, bills, homework, and forgetting to buy cat food and I'm somewhat amazed I'm still standing.  I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions specifically, but I do have some ideas for what I want to work on next in this journey on mine.  

More on that soon...

Merry Christmas - Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark

Merry Christmas everyone!  I have many ambitious post ideas floating around in my head, like a recap of 2013, a list of my favorite triathlon toys, but I am way too mellow after my 5:00 am boot camp strength class and run with Gypsy to do much more than sign on to wish everyone a very happy holiday.

I will get to all those longer posts, but for now let me share a new recipe we tried for our family holiday baskets: Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark from one of my favorite bakery blogs, Brown Eyed Baker.

Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark

• 2 cups of good-quality caramels (we used Werther's soft caramels)
• a bag of pretzels
• sea salt
• 1 16 oz package of milk chocolate chips

Spread parchment paper over a baking sheet (make sure to use one with an edge - you do NOT want to scrape caramel off the bottom of your oven).  Unwrap all the caramels (little helpers are great for this).

Space out the caramels evenly on the parchment paper, and put in a 350 degree oven until they melt.  You can use a spatula (buttered) to spread a bit if needed.

Sprinkle sea salt over the melted caramel, followed by an even layer of crushed pretzel bits.

Top with the chocolate chips.  You can use any kind you want - we liked the slightly sweeter milk chocolate to offset the salty caramel.  Put back into the oven for another 5 minutes to melt the chocolate.  

Once chocolate is melted, remove and spread (if desired).  You can press whole pretzels into the top for a decorative finish.

Use a large knife to cut the COOLED bark into squares.Enjoy right away, or wrap up in cellophane for gifts!

________________________________________

Lest you all get the wrong idea, it hasn't been all bark-making around here.  Though the number of Christmas cookies I've consumed this week is truly shocking.  For real.  I must stop.  And I will riiiiiight after Christmas.

My workouts of late:

Wednesday: 35 minute bike trainer

Thursday: 2.5 mile run, FIT strength class

Friday: 1000 yard swim, 2.76 mile fast finish run

Saturday: Total Immersion class, 5 mile long run

Sunday: Rest

Monday: 35 minute hill run in the pouring icy rain outside my office

This morning: FIT class and a 3.55 mile run in Gypsy's oh-so-hilly neighborhood.  Best way to start the holiday!!!

Enjoy this time with you loved ones, be safe, do what brings joy to your hearts, and don't eat too many cookies everyone!!  

Merry Christmas from my Family to Yours!!!

A Man for Christmas! My New Coach

A few nights ago, fueled by a glass of Naughty Elf wine and a rare moment to myself with kitty in lap, I decided it was time to take the next step.  Now that I back to training 5-6 days per week and running regularly, with races ahead of me and injury [hopefully permanently] behind me, it was time to just go ahead and admit that I am in over my head.  As a fellow tri-er said, "If you are the point that you're asking yourself if you need a coach, you already do".  Ok then.

So a while back, I introduced my friend Anthony as my Coach Sheriff.  The was true, but only in the sense that I sent him confused emails every few months, which he very patiently answered ("Running shoes go on your feet, Miranda....").  In one of these exchanges he offered to coach me for real if I ever got serious.  A truly generous offer, considering the amount of time and effort it takes to coach a triathlete, especially a hot mess like this one.  There was also the consideration of being coached by a long time friend - awesome in that he is well acquainted with my particular brand of crazy, having watched it grow up.  Yet also a little odd, since coaching is pretty personal.  Kinda like asking your bestie to be your gynocologist.  Yes, Anthony, I did just compare you to my OB-GYN.  Having second thoughts yet??

Ain't he a cutie?

Anyway, after a flurry of late night texts, we established that yes, Anthony was indeed up to the challenge.  I got myself a Training Peaks account (which I cannot stop playing with - OMG), linked us up, and away we go.

So, once again, let me introduce my real, honest-to-goodness, watching-everything-I-do, going-to-kick-my-butt coach, Anthony Bagnetto!  To be referred to henceforth as the Sheriff, for reasons previously explained.

Sheriff was a competitive swimmer in high school, then moved to New York City after college in 2002 and became a strength coach & trainer.  He was bit by the triathlon bug in 2006, and since has raced all distances - some of the highlights being 70.3 Montauk, Escape from Alcatraz, Ironman Wisconsin, and most recently USAT Age Group Nationals for the Olympic distance this year.  I take great comfort that no matter how pain he's putting me through in 2014, he'll be in more himself, as he is taking on IM Lake Placid in July. (I will be there along with a gaggle of our high school friends to cheer him on).  He is a Level I USAT Coach, trains athletes of all levels, and was voted "One of NYC's 15 Nicest Instructors" on RateYourBurn. See?  I picked a NICE coach.  He also maintains a blog, website, and all manner of other social media.  He recently launched what I'm sure will be a truly epic website, www.myracerecap.com, where athletes can connect and read about each other's experiences at specific races.  Yes, you can even read about me there!  Clearly this guy is going somewhere.

Iron Sheriff.  IM Wisconsin.
He seems to pick all the hilly races...

Which really is not surprise, considering that Sheriff was basically the President of our high school.  No exaggeration - at the ten year reunion people were actually fighting over which table he sat at.  It was amazing.  All my family and friends have met him.  My coworkers have met him.  My kids love him.  There is really no one on the planet that has met him and not liked him.  He's just one of those people who is always so happy and positive that you just want to shake him.

Sheriff and then-girlfriend came to visit and fell in love with our kids.
Never let your wife hold a baby, dude.... no more IM training for you!

I'd like to share some of my favorite Sheriff moments, both by way of introducing him to you all, but also to give myself some fond memories to look back over when I'm cursing him four months from now in peak training weeks.

• The time he dropped me on my head.  Yes, really - this was the first (and only thus far) vaguely athletic thing we've done together.  Being both die-hard band geeks, we were runners for our high school color guard, which was performing a swing routine where we flipped each other over our arms, over our backs, etc.  We tried the over-the-back flip.  On a concrete floor.  Bad news.

• Dancing at my wedding.  We played that same song and danced to it (sans flips this time), so well and for so long that my new mother in-law assumed that we were old sweethearts and was a little concerned that I was jilting the Jedi within two hours of marrying him.  Oops.  Bonus - the straps of my dress kept sliding down, and by the end I had massive bruises on my upper arms.  On our honeymoon Jedi made me wear a sweater the whole time so that people wouldn't think he was a wife-beater.  As the cruise was to Alaska, this wasn't a problem.

Swing dancing

On my honeymoon.  Note giant bruises.
Somehow I think this will not be the only time Sheriff hurts me...

• That time in NYC.  I was in New York for work, went out with my coworkers, had way too many beers on the corporate card, and decided that Sheriff needed to come meet us immediately.  At 11:00 at night.  I have vague memories of stumbling outside, of Sheriff asking me what cross street I was near, and then within minute he appeared, having ridden his bike to the bar.  Now, maybe midnight bike riding is normal in NYC, but it seemed pretty badass to me.  Even more-so as he had at least two spin classes to teach starting at 5 am the next day.  I have no idea how far his apartment was from where I was.  It could have been a block or miles.  Who knows?  My coworkers and I were so unprofessional that night that we forever ruined Sheriff for working in corporate America.  Service rendered if you ask me...

• Making the grooms' cake for his wedding.  Yes ladies, he is married.  And his wife is every bit as amazing, nice, and gorgeous as he is.  Sorry.  We offered to make a groom's cake for his wedding last fall.  Triathlon themed, of course.  It was three tiered - I made the three separate cakes, drove 5 hours to New Jersey with them in the back of my car, and then hastily stacked and assembled the cake in my hotel room upon arrival.  The cake was a surprise for Sheriff, and seeing how psyched he and the rest of the guests were made it hands down one of my favorite projects ever.  Plus, the next morning hurricane Sandy hit the coast right where the wedding was, making the weekend even more memorable.  He even does his wedding extreme!

The couple makes me take a bow before they cut it

I am very very happy to have such an experienced, talented, and positive coach working with me.  Even more happy to have maintained 15 years of friendship with such an awesome guy.  Let's hope that continues to be the case!  Just kidding....

Want more Sheriff?  Who wouldn't?

Website & blog: http://www.anthonybagnetto.com/fitness/
Follow on Twitter @anthonybagnetto
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Anthony-Bagnetto-Fitness/

Sheriff is taking on new clients both in the NYC area and for online coaching.  He doesn't know it yet, but he's also going to write a Q&A session for new triathletes with me in the next month or so, so if you have question leave them in the comments!

A Very Happy Birthday

What a perfect birthday card.  Thank you to my mother-in-law.  Life in indeed a journey, and what shoes you wear are a big part of your happiness along the way.  Both literal and metaphorical shoes....

Mice concert ornament at the botanical garden

This weekend I turned 34.  Yes - I'm admitting my age publicly.  Why not?  Honestly I am so much happier and fulfilled at this age that I was at 24, 14... actually maybe I was pretty happy at 4 years old, but I just don't remember.  So right now, overall.... life is good.  My weight (normal + 4 lbs of Christmas cookies), and my pace (about a full minute slower than I'd like to admit).... I will keep to self :)

The specifics of life lately have been a little hairier.  For one thing, Mother Nature decided to dump a foot of snow on us over the weekend, so the original plan of my parents watching the kids so the Jedi and I could have a date was scrapped.  Instead, we decided to meet my folks at a local botanical garden on Friday to see a holiday display I've been wanting to see. Local, free, and safe.  Unfortunately, even though we ALL had the stomach flu last week and should therefore have been past it, my son woke up vomiting Friday morning.  After several hours of watching him, we decided he was ok to still go, and we headed out.  We had a very nice time - the display was beautiful.  The plan was to hit the gym on the way home for my fast-finish training run and to let the kids play in the kid gym.  That plan was also scrapped when my daughter got hit by the flu while we were at the garden (I'll save the details).  Needless to say, getting her home and into bed (bathroom?) was key.

Heading out into the dark and cold.
I am Rudolph.

The kids were bummed to miss the gym and so was I.  I made the best of it - dressed for the cold and lit myself up like a Christmas tree and took my run outside.  It was a little icy (scary!) and dark (scarier!).  Not sure how I feel about night runs.  I know that many people do it, but... man.  I just don't know.  At least I got the run done.

Saturday morning started with the kids seeming a little better, so rather than subject them to grocery shopping with Dad and all the crazies stocking up for the storm, I took them to the gym with me for what should have been my Total Immersion Class followed by my long run for the week - 4.5 on the treadmill.  Got the kids settled in Kid Watch and got to my class a little late.  Five minutes.  Was just starting to warm up when..... there she was - the staffer from child watch.  I went upstairs - little guy had nearly (but not actually) had an accident.  I got him cleaned up.  The staff was ok with him staying and he and his sister were having fun, so I crossed my fingers and went back to the pool.  I made it through most of the class (although my attention was sadly still upstairs with the kids), but then 10 minutes before then end, there she was again.  "Your son has been in the bathroom for 10 minutes".  Oh God.  I'm the worst mom in the world.  I didn't even bother to throw on anything - just wrapped a towel around myself, grabbed my bag and followed her upstairs into the kid area to my crying little buddy who was, indeed, in the bathroom.  I got him sorted, got some clothes on, and carried both crying children home.  (The girl was crying because she didn't want to leave without her time in the kid gym, which was just about to open.  Oh my).  Long story short, the rest of the day I threw myself into being Mom (oh the guilt) and trying to get both children well again.

I don't do cold.....

So Sunday (yesterday) was my actual birthday.  We had no idea what to expect.  The storm could have dump snow or rain.  The kids could be fine or go to the ER for IV fluids.  I just didn't know what to expect when I opened my eyes.

As luck would have it, I woke to two healthy kids, a nice present and nice breakfast made by my wonderful husband, and a foot of fresh snow for my kids to play in.  After about a half an hour of shoveling our 200 foot driveway (really - we must get a snowblower), I was liberated by Merlin, who came by to pick me up for a really beautiful (and really tough) 4.5 mile snowshoe on the MidState Trail nearby.  I haven't seen Merlin in months, it seems, and it was great to catch up with her and meet some of her friends.  Once I got home, showered, and warm again, I was off to a cookie swap party.  The kids and I made the cookies the day prior, and they were dead set on winning.  Luckily we did (we've got a reputation to defend, after all!).  I got to carry a prize home for them.  Then dinner out and collapsing in front of the TV, totally tuckered out from a day where I actually got to do exactly what I wanted to.  How often does that happen???

Snowshoeing the Midstate

Of course turning older always makes you a little thoughtful.  I've had a lot of "why am I doing this to myself?" lately.  Whine whine.  I'm sore.  I'm tired.  I'm injured.  I'm burned out.  I'm not fast.  I'm all of these things.  So WHY????

There's a great article floating around about how asking yourself what you want in life is the wrong question.  That the right question is "what are you willing to suffer for?"  I've been asking myself that quite often.  I sometimes feel like I'm not quite sure how I got where I am.  The house, the career (which admittedly fine, is not in wildlife like I had planned).  These two tiny people that are forever hanging on my legs and calling me "mom".  What's with that??  It's all wonderful, but it's a little different than the kick-ass wildlife researcher / watercolor artist living in Africa that I envisioned in my youth.

So what am I willing to suffer for?  Clearly not my career, since I've mostly taken the path of least resistance, landing self in cushy corporate job that pays the bills for my kiddos and stay at home husband.  My kids?  Well sure - that's biological. That can't count as a goal.  Finishing an Olympic distance triathlon or a half-marathon?  Actually, no.  Not.

What now, you say? You're a triathlete - it's all about the next race!  

Well, sort of, but it's all a means to an end.  What I'm willing to suffer for is being the 80 year old woman at the gym's pool that swims laps every morning because she loves the water.  Being like my feisty friend in her 70s I saw at the cookie swap who still plays tennis 3 times a week.  Like my kids' preschool teacher, who has adult kids gone off to school and who's idea of a perfect date is a 50 mile bike ride with her husband.  I want to be healthy, fit, and active every day of my life until the day I die.  We had our kids relatively young - I want to hike the Long Trail once they're in college (we'll be 48, not that I'm counting).  I want to love the water and enjoy swimming.  I honestly don't care that much if I never complete a 70.3 or if I can never clear a 9:00 minute mile for a 5K.  Much - I said care MUCH.....

Taking the long view is great for training.  It lets me enjoy a snowshoe instead of obsessing my missed long run.  Enjoying some extra cookies (tho really I need to stop.  For the love - I've gained 3 lbs in a week!).  That streak of grey in my hair might to be colored soon, I have wrinkles around my mouth from smiling (yes!), but overall I'm in the best shape of my life.  And I still got carded while buying wine for the party, so....

Happy Birthday to Me and Elf On!!!

Hello Zone 2

Triathlon is hard for lots of reasons.  The most obvious ones are that is physically hard to swim, then jump on a bike, then run.  It seems straightforward, right?  Just do all of those really fast and that's how you do it.  Easy!!

That's more or less how I've approached my training.  Go as hard as I can in all sessions, and hope that it will lead to fast results.  While simultaneously cursing that I'm not able to run 7:00 miles yet.

Looking back over the year (thank you Facebook recap) I realized that I ran my first 3 miles ever, without stopping to walk, in May.  Only 6 months ago.  Only one month before doing my first sprint triathlon, and 4 months before running 7+ miles at my race pace.  Is it really any wonder that I got hurt?

I've been pretty discouraged lately - after being on crutches, then a cold I can't shake, and my family's fight with the stomach flu last week - I feel like I just can't get my mojo on.  And when I do, I'm so sore and tired afterwards I feel like I'm gonna die. How is it fair that some people are never sore after working out and I always am? Maybe because they aren't trying for PRs every single workout.  The Sheriff suggested I was over-training for the sprint distance this summer - maybe I should have listened.

Saturday I started my Total Immersion class.  First lesson - relax.  Literally - Relax your head.  Relax your shoulders, and let your head be totally supported by the water.  Go ahead and laugh... because my first reaction was "No I can't relax I won't go anywhere!!!".  Being told to relax, physically or otherwise, makes me feel more anxious.  I just am not good at it.  I'm not sure if I ever was, or if motherhood and too many responsibilities erased it from my repertoire.  Either way, it doesn't come easy.  My instructor filmed us in the water, and after lots of talking about how swim technique is all about working with the water instead of fighting it, I can easily see in the video that my terrible stroke count (30 in a 25 meter pool) is due to lots of me thrashing around and fighting the water.  Luckily my teacher says we'll work on that.

On the running side, I started a new Faster 5K running program, and was dreading running after the first workout.  So I started to look - REALLY LOOK - at how I am working out, with the help of my HRM.  I have a history of going way too hard - in the HR zones well above what the workout prescribed, because I wanted to be able to log a faster pace.  Was embarrassed to be running 12 minute miles.   Clearly this needs to change.  

After my TI class, I went upstairs and re-calibrated my Pear training system with my new heart rate zones post-injury.  Why didn't I do this earlier?  Because I am delusional stubborn.  Since then, for the last 3 runs I have faithfully tried to stay in my prescribed zone, even though my Zone 1 is walking and my Zone 2 is quite slow.  I'm learning to stuff my ego down my sports bra and just cover the treadmill screen so that the Ironman in my swim class and the mom down the street that are running 6:30s behind me just can't see.  They don't care anyway.  Seriously - get over yourself.

Some decorations on my long run - so cute!

The upside of this is that I've been way less sore and tired.  I actually enjoyed my 4 mile long run in the cold on Sunday - took in the neighborhood Christmas decorations and felt good the rest of the day instead of feeling wrecked.  Was able to actually keep up with the kids through all the weekend festivities without snapping at them.  Sore mommy = mean mommy.  Poor kids.

Letting things go, relaxing, running slow(er) - these things don't come easy.  But one of my main goals in becoming a triathlete was to use it as a tool to conquer a lot of my mental demons.  Like my ego.  Like my ability to be "just ok".  To not push myself to the edge of sanity all the time.  Triathlon teaches so much....

Do you feel self-conscious at the gym or with other athletes?

Do you vary your training, with some hard and some easy days?

How sore are you while you are training?